Monday, April 27, 2009


Boy, was I disappointed to learn that the Imagem Music Group had acquired the Rodgers & Hammerstein catalog!  If I had known that they were in the market for a corpus of music like that in the R & H musicals, then my partners in the Music Division of Wolf Industries of Gulfport, Miss. would have been more than happy to make an offer.

Thanks to a series of proprietary algorithms developed by our staff of highly-paid, well-trained, fine-mannered, and not t00-tough-on-the-eyes music industry scientists and technicians, we have the capacity to rapidly deliver single works of music or works for the musical stage and screen on demand equivalent to any known work, but different enough from said works to guarantee adequate distinction in the case of any copyright infringement action via sophisticated music-theoretical procedures including parody, transposition, inversion, retrograde, and a complex operation involving moving a lot of notes around on the page that we like to describe as variation.  

For example, our staff has already produced the musical about the 1950's Southern California land grab, Oh, Pacoima!, which, in addition to the cheerful title song (Oh - P - A -C - O - I -M - A!)  includes the abstinence-only theme song commisioned by the Bush adminstration I'm A Girl Who Just Says No!.   For those with more exotic tastes, our cold war musical North Atlantic was a great success in previews during the 2002 Norwegian cruise season. The lyrical paean to the great Icelandic volcano, Bárdarbunga,  sung by the comical flight mechanic Muddy Barry, was a particular hit with the over-eighty set.  (Unfortunately, our catalog novelty for 2006, the Hitchcock-like musical, about a family of eight adorable singing Austrians in Lederhosen trapped in a unstoppable falling elevator, The Sound of Muzac, cannot be supplied at the moment due to a cease and desist order from the Muzac Corporation.) 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Could you delivery a very large score for a game machine, VICTORY AT WII? We need at least 17 hours of full orchestral score by the weekend.